Understanding Autism: A User Friendly Perspective

This article has been researched and written by Nardus Saayman. AI has not been used in producing this article.

Autism is often described as a “spectrum,” which can be somewhat misleading as it can seem to imply that each autistic individual is different only in terms of degree of severity. The truth is that in most cases of autism, specifically adult-diagnosed autism, which frequently falls under the radar until later life, there is profound variation in how autism has shaped the individual’s sense of self and approach to life. We are never shaped by just one aspect of life. Each of us are made up of our personality, life experiences, relationships, and the way our brain is wired. Traditional medical definitions of autism are problematic because they are descriptive, rather than explanatory.

According to the American Psychiatric Association (AРА), autism includes ongoing challenges with social interaction and communication, and a preference for routines or repeated behaviours. It is also stated that people on the spectrum may have strong, focused interests and unique sensory experiences. But this definition, while useful in some ways, mostly describes what others see from the outside. In reality, there’s a whole world going on inside an autistic person’s mind that often gets overlooked. This inner world can be full of deep thoughts, intense emotions, and rich inner experiences – but they might not always show it in expected or “typical” ways. It’s important to remember that behaviors labelled as “deficits” might actually reflect different ways of processing the world, rather than something being missing or broken.

Shifting the Conversation: Understanding vs Labelling

Over time, the way we understand autism has changed. Today, the neurodiversity-affirming approach invites us to see autism not as a disorder, but as a different kind of brain wiring. It reminds us that differences are natural, and being autistic doesn’t mean someone is sick or broken. It means they see, feel, and respond to the world in their own way. However, even with supportive approaches such as neurodiversity-affirming therapies, we need to mindful of not over-correcting with positive judgment, which is still judgement. Therapy is not about judgement, it is about an exploration that deepens an individual’s sense of who they truly are. For therapy to work well, it needs to be based on authenticity, empathy, and curiosity. Therapists should respect and understand neurodivergent ways of thinking, communicating, and feeling. That might mean embracing a different rhythm of conversation, making space for special interests, or being aware of sensory sensitivities.

This approach also challenges old ideas, like the belief that autism is just a lack of social ability. Instead, we’re learning to ask better questions:

• Why does someone feel stuck in a conversation?
• Are they unsure what to say because their brain is overwhelmed by too many thoughts-not because they don’t have any?
• Are they holding back because they’ve been misunderstood before?

These questions help us shift from a “what’s wrong?” mindset to a “what’s going on here?” mindset.

“The “Deficit” Trap

A big part of this shift is rethinking the word “deficit.” Instead of assuming something is missing, we should ask: is it really a lack, or is it something different? Maybe the person is processing the conversation in a complex way. Maybe they don’t speak up right away because they’re weighing many different responses in their mind.

Autistic individuals might not always express themselves in typical ways, but that doesn’t mean they don’t understand. And it certainly doesn’t mean they lack desire for connection, meaning, or self-expression.

Why This Matters in Therapy

Therapists have long used ideas from psychoanalysis to understand people’s inner lives. But these tools often fall short when it comes to autism – not because they aren’t useful, but because they weren’t built with neurodivergent minds in mind.

Rather than trying to “fix” autistic behavior, the aim should be to understand the person’s unique experience of their internal world. We need to explore how their mind works from their perspective, not just how it appears from the outside.

In therapy, this might mean slowing things down, helping a person untangle their thoughts, offering support in ways that feel safe and respectful. The therapist’s job isn’t just to interpret behavior, but to join the patient in exploring what life feels like from their position.

It may be useful for individuals seeking treatment to be reminded that it is okay for them to ask questions in therapy. You are allowed to ask a therapist whether they have been trained to work with neurodiversity, and to get their take on how they make sense of autism and neurodiversity.

The more we listen to autistic voices and honor their lived experiences, the better we’ll become at offering meaningful, affirming support – both inside and outside the therapy room.

Nardus Saayman

Clinical Psychologist